I’m not sure if there ever is a perfect plan for dealing with long-term illness and care-giving. Families have to decide what works for their own situations. I will say that leaving total care on the shoulders of only one person is probably not the wisest of choices. At the very least, that person needs help and support, someone to take over care every once in a while. I understand that the patient needs stability, and it wouldn’t be a good idea to shuffle him/her around too often. And the more advanced the illness, the less this option would make… Read more »
I agree with you.
I am a caregiver for another facility but my husband takes care of me because I have cancer he should be listening to this but I understand about the Alzheimer’s because I work at Cascades of Sierras Nevada and I love my alzheimer’s unit list they may not know me but they do know that I’m taking care of them
I don’t think it was realistic for the sake of the patient. Familiarity seems to be a plus with dementia patients. Keeping Aunt Tweet in one home would probably be better for her wellbeing.
I agree with you and thought that unfamiliar surroundings must be more difficult for someone with dementia.
You are correct, Lavoris. Sometimes, people go about finding solutions in the wrong way. They did.
To begin with Yes. But moving a dementia, Alzheimer’s patient around the country doesn’t improve their capabilities.
I think it was a great idea to split up the time they would care for Aunt Tweet but not sure if moving her around from place to place would be a good idea with her dementia.
On paper the caregiver’s pact sounded good for the family. It was not about sharing the burden, but allowing each sister more time with Aunt Tweet. As the disease progressed moving her to different places would be difficult for a person, and putting her in unfamiliar places
I think it was a good plan, but I don’t think realistically it would work like that. This kind of care is not something you can easily manage or care for.
It was realistic for there family. My father and his brother did the same thing with my grandmother. They did three months intervals. They were both retired so it worked for them until she passed away. I always believe you should take care of your elderly family members. I’m not in favor of nursing homes. You should keep your loved ones close.there is lot family information that they have and we need to listen and treasure that information.
I honesty belief they thought they had a good game plan but as the disease progresses terms of care have to be changed. I really loved that they wanted to take care of her themselves but realistically it doesn’t very often work out that way. My uncle had Alzheimer’s and my aunt took care of him at home for a while but then he got very aggressive and she could no longer care for him and he had to go to a nursing home. It was so sad that a kind, gentle soul lost who he was.
It was good for the three sisters to have a chance to care for Aunt Tweet, but I believe she would be better off in one home with the same caretakers day in and day outwith respite help.It would be easier and less confusing for all involved.
I love the thought that perhaps my family would love me enough to care for me during any long term illness. I am a caregiver to my adult disabled daughter. She is 50, I am 70, I worry about what will become of us if someone gets sick,I worry everyday. Moving Aunt Tweet around so much will only confuse her more. I think they should have her in one place and take that $5,000.00 per month and hire a reliable, loving caregiver even if it’s one of the nieces.
Of course their pact was realistic. The changes may have been overwhelming for Aunt Tweet but nonetheless she was able to adapt to the circumstances and I think she truly knew she was loved.
My personal opinion on this Pact is but this is what gets families into trouble. Having three people who are all in exactly the same place when it comes to willingness and ability to care for a family member who is suffering from something like dementia is highly unlikely if not impossible. Each one of the sisters would have to evaluate their own personal situation with the others understanding if they are incapable of being able to be successful. I think in this case they were all very quick to commit to doing this
It was realistic with what they knew but not with what they learned. Dementia is so unpredictable. I admired them for trying.
No. It was idealistic. As each person experiences different things, i suppose i should not be so abrupt, but they really should have spoken more freely with other caregivers and reviewed the progression of the illness more thoroughly with more frequency & candidly with each other.
Definitely not. The older sister in particular, Kym, was so unyielding to the possibility that Aunt Tweet was not safe living without professional care. The pact seemed to assume that the sisters could trade off every six months without any changes to her condition over time. Also, completely changing her environment every six months would be very unsettling. It is really hard to know the right time to give up on caring for a person with dementia at home. You get it right in hindsight.
I think that it would be difficult to be a person living alone and take care of someone like Aunt Tweet while working full time. Someone like Aunt Tweet probably was ready for a round the clock facility. I understand that this is a reality for many families.
I don’t think that it was realistic. Everyone ‘s situation is different. Where I live, I know that it would be hard to quit my job and take a lower paying one and still meet all my bills. And uprooting poor Aunt Tweet that many times seems almost mean.
In theory, it seemed realistic. However, one thing I’ve learned is that constancy, familiarity, and routine are important for people with dementia. I don’t know that it helped Aunt Tweet to be moved every six months. It might have been more realistic to have her remain with one sister and have the other two come regularly to help.
I have a hard time answering this question. I have a background in Alzheimer’s and dementia care and the constant moving around isn’t great for them. When they’re unfamiliar with their surroundings they tend to decline so for me I was like eehhhh, no. If anything have them take turns keeping her at the same exact house. But i definitely don’t think anyone should have to be a caregiver on their own. That is WAY too much.
I think that the approach is the most realistic and caring considering Aunt Tweet’s illness. She took care of the sisters as children, and now they are able to reciprocate. I think the family life cycle is kept intact by keeping her at home. She seems to do quite well under their watch at home as well, minus the occasional symptoms from her illness.
No, because change is very hard on Alzheimer’s patients. Routine is best. Also it is very hard on caregiver if they do not have a support system in p!ace.
I found their pact realistic. My sisters and I took turns caring for our parents – first my father and then my mother. For us it was caring for them in their home. Our parents were adamant that they stay and die in their home. Fortunately being retired helped with each of us traveling to our home growing up.
I think every family and every patient are different. My dad cared for mom until her aggressiveness made it impossible for him. The pact of the 3 sisters didn’t take into account the fact that Tabitha had a full-time job and could not keep an eye on Aunt Tweet. I haven’t finished the book yet, so perhaps some of my feelings will change as the book unfolds.
Yes and no. A pact if good. I think theirs was unrealistic. I don’t think they had a clue. I do think they handled everything as well as can be expected.
I applaud the attempt to true share the responsibility (AND JOY) of caring for their loved one, I keep worrying about the aunt, and her being confused and more traumatized by moving her around
I don’t think it was realistic but I can see their intentions were honorable. I think had they going to a support group or something they would have probably been better prepared for the emotional aspect and aware of the need for additional support.
Yes and no!! I think the sisters tried the best they could and thought this was what they could handle. I do understand that most likely no ONE of them felt they could do this alone so their solution was at the least fair for each sister. As for Aunt Tweet, I felt soooo sad when she was saying she didn’t want to leave and my heart hurt for Tabitha having to leave her. I doubt that having someone with dementia moving every six months would be the ideal situation.
Not really but they didn’t know any better. I think they did the best they could and had good intentions. Care giving is difficult and it is so helpful to have family who live in the same area.
I’ve been very blessed to not have dementia run in my family, however it does run in my husbands and I wonder at the probability of having one person care for someone with dementia after it’s progressed as far as Aunt Tweets’. Moving her every 6 months doesn’t seem beneficial or logical after she’s become so far gone for either the patient OR the caregiver. The story is nice and I enjoyed reading it.